APC225

Had a captain as the PM to this "for" me after mains touched down and before the nose wheel was on the ground. No prebrief, discussion or anything. Just did it.

MasterOfPuppets

Why are you touching the ****ing HUD? There is no reason to touch the middle of the HUD.

PA Slammer

Don't ever use the wipes or screen cleaners.

APC225

DaveDaveDave, you could not be more wrong. Getting p-ss and crap on yourself is the best way to stay healthy. Science proves it! It's why whenever a pilot calls in sick, the CP knows they're lying since pilots, having continual exposure in the forward lab (not to mention the five-point harness connector that has rested on 12,000 pilots' zippers) are the healthiest people on earth.

https://www.nytimes.com/2017/06/06/w...ore-ipad-share

Enter the dog.

Dogs roll in the mud. They sniff feces and other questionable substances. Then they track countless germs into our homes on their paws, snouts and fur.

And if the latest research on pets and human health is correct, that cloud of dog-borne microbes may be working to keep us healthy. Epidemiological studies show that children who grow up in households with dogs have a lower risk for developing autoimmune illnesses like asthma and allergies — and it may be a result of the diversity of microbes that these animals bring inside our homes.

According to the so-called hygiene hypothesis, spending over 90 percent of our time in the bacteria-poor environment indoors, as we do (especially early in life, when our immune systems are being formed), can cause our bodies to overreact to harmless substances later on, making us sick.

“Allergies and asthma are both examples of the way that the immune system is misfiring,” said Jordan Peccia, a professor of environmental engineering at Yale University. “An allergy is our immune system attacking something that it shouldn’t attack, because it hasn’t been calibrated properly.”

APC225

Mentoree secret decoder:

"I do everything SOP"--he thinks that's "Super Outstanding Pilot"
"I have thick skin"--skin is thinner than an Italian ma's potica dough
"It's not who is right, it's what is right"--only he knows what is right

Hear one of the above: knot in stomach
Two of the above: no lav breaks
Three of the above: preflight FSAP page

tomgoodman

Pulling speed brakes to sabotage the other pilot's incipient grease job is considered poor sportsmanship, even if there is a bet at stake.

Master of FiFi

I flew with one gem a couple weeks ago who would turn off all automation at TOD (Autopilot, thrust, and FD) and proceed to S-turn down the arrival using only the ND display zoomed all the way in to navigate. I reminded him that the flight directors are required to be on for RNAV arrivals. His response was a grunt, more S turns, and being high at HULLS in ORD by 1500', despite my best efforts. Three FSAPs in one trip, a personal best.

Another thing that everyone should start doing is calling for gear down and flaps while the other person is checking in with tower, or getting the response.

"Tower, United 123 at *GEAR DOWN FLAPS 3*..."

RSRVWINDSURFR

I had a Captain hold down the handle BEFORE I touched down to "help" me grease it on.....which I did, about 5 times down the runway..

IAHB756

These are great. I shouldn't be laughing but some of these are just too good.... I remember being a newbie on the 737 and flying with this strange dude on a reserve trip. My leg to BWI. Landing on that NW runway we all got. There is a high speed exit everyone makes. Anyway, we touch and I spool the engines up into reverse. Captain takes his hand and covers mine and stows the reverses stating "No Reverse!, We don't use reverse!!" Umm, at the time we were to use idle reverse only (before the -900's came online) when warranted. This landing warranted reverse thrust. We blow past the high speed and exit, taxi back and hold short of the exact high speed for a NWA DC-9 who rolls out, takes it and we follow him to the gate (with both engines running). Captain says nothing and all I have to do is DH back to IAH so I gather my things, step up and say "I guess we didn't save all that much fuel after all ". He grunted and ignored me. Complete asshat.

badflaps

On the 72 it was always fun to pull on the right side seat vertical adjustment.