View Poll Results: Relationship Statistics
Single
28
17.39%
In A Relationship
32
19.88%
Married
90
55.90%
Divorced
11
6.83%
Voters: 161. You may not vote on this poll
Significant Other Statistics
11-29-2015, 02:58 AM
#22
Gets Weekends Off
Joined APC: Feb 2012
Position: CRJ FO
Posts: 4,601
Been with the same woman for 6 years and married to her for one year. Lived together for most of that time. She has seen the struggle through training, finding that first job, flight instructing, and me being away for weeks/months at a time with my previous non-121 job. Now that I'm at a regional, she is still very supportive of me. She also helps take care of my disabled mom who lives with us. So all around I'd say she is pretty damn awesome. You have to make time EVERY time your home to spend some special time with your significant other. Kids, no kids, family, it doesn't matter. Make the time to make them feel loved and special.
And by nature, pilots are difficult people to get along with. We are "type-A" personalities. Controlling, always right, never wrong, egotistical, etc. Its hard to find someone compatible with the kind of personality traits this job can breed in a person. I find it best to try and hang my "pilot hat" at the door when I get home. When I'm home I'm just me, not "pilot me". And I'll just add this: I find that many pilots prefer to stay single. And that is fine. Absolutely nothing wrong with that. And it may even make life easier to be honest. But the added value of a strong significant other at your side is invaluable in my opinion. Find someone who adds to your life experience, not detracts from it.
And by nature, pilots are difficult people to get along with. We are "type-A" personalities. Controlling, always right, never wrong, egotistical, etc. Its hard to find someone compatible with the kind of personality traits this job can breed in a person. I find it best to try and hang my "pilot hat" at the door when I get home. When I'm home I'm just me, not "pilot me". And I'll just add this: I find that many pilots prefer to stay single. And that is fine. Absolutely nothing wrong with that. And it may even make life easier to be honest. But the added value of a strong significant other at your side is invaluable in my opinion. Find someone who adds to your life experience, not detracts from it.
11-29-2015, 05:46 AM
#23
Gets Weekends Off
Joined APC: Mar 2012
Position: Airplane
Posts: 684
Been the same woman for 14 years, married for 5, we have two children.
It's been tough but as others have indicated, it is not the regionals or being a pilot for the matter that will mess anything up. Plus all this complaining about the regional lifestyle but honestly my marriage has been so much better by working at the regionals. I get to control my schedule(mostly), I get to know my days off in advance, the problems of the airplane and boss don't follow me home like they did in corporate.
Also don't forget, a family that prays together stays together....fwiw
It's been tough but as others have indicated, it is not the regionals or being a pilot for the matter that will mess anything up. Plus all this complaining about the regional lifestyle but honestly my marriage has been so much better by working at the regionals. I get to control my schedule(mostly), I get to know my days off in advance, the problems of the airplane and boss don't follow me home like they did in corporate.
Also don't forget, a family that prays together stays together....fwiw
11-29-2015, 08:09 AM
#25
Gets Weekends Off
Joined APC: Jan 2009
Position: 737 Left
Posts: 1,827
My wife and I have been married almost 17 years. I was not a pilot when we met. She bought my intro lesson. She went through the whole thing with me. I never planned on being an Airline pilot. At her urging, I quit a six figure engineering career for the right seat of an RJ over 5 years ago. She still says I can't go back to engineering. QOL is much better now than it was then, even though I traveled very little.
11-29-2015, 10:06 AM
#26
Line Holder
Joined APC: Feb 2011
Posts: 38
I've been with my wife for 7 years. We have been married for 2 now. I met her before my first flying lesson when i was in a different career field and hated every day of it. We get along great and she has grown to understand aviation. (she still doesn't get why I always have to work with the in laws are in town 
) Our relationship has changed drastically since I started flying tho and I have followed some advice given to me through out the years that appears to be working.
#1 Share a common interest.
My dad told me in high school that for something to work you have to have a common interest other than sex. Do something together that you both like doing at least 2 times a month. (more if you can) My wife dragging me shopping and me forcing her to watch the game do not count. (My wife likes to golf.... I WIN! )
#2 Make time for yourself. Being on the road for work does not count. You are still in work mode. I'm a car guy and I spend a few hours every time I am home in the garage tinkering with a project car I have. Just me, the dog, and a cold beer. (depending on which tools I'm using) Doing chores and honey-do list's don't qualify. (still do those tho... haha) I started forcing myself to do this when working my last flying job. I was an ops manager/pilot for a decent sized 91 company that required me to be at work 80 hours a week and on call 24/7. I loved the job but it was very taxing on your personal life. I needed "unwind time" every now and then and sitting in a bar wasn't really what I was after so once a week or so I would turn off my phone and go play with the car in my garage for a few hours. My mentality was if the hangar burned down call 911.... it was still going to be burned down in a few hours. How does it help my marriage? I don't really know, but about the time I started doing that, she would go hang out with her friends for "girls night" and our moods towards each other and life in general got ALOT better.
#3 Leave work at work.
At the 91 operator my phone always rang, I always had to make calls after 8PM (stupid west coast) emails always came in, and some sort of paperwork was with me that had to be done. My stomach jumped every time the phone rang. Like i said... i loved the job but 3 years was enough. Now, My work hat goes on and comes off in the employee parking lot. The only thing that comes home is my suitcase. I don't talk flying with my wife unless she asks something specific, no Jepp revisions, no email checking, no forums, no phone calls from crew scheduling because they #$%ed something up, Nothing. I don't know if its because of being traumatized in the previous job but in my eyes that brick of actually being off when your not at work is worth the change.
Some things I have noticed that are better in this field for relationships.
Yes the money sucks at first, (I am currently almost done with my 1st year as a Reg. FO) yes the schedule sucks but now when I am home I am away from work. My wife and I get along now better than we ever have. Believe it or not we actually get to spend 3 times as much time together than we ever have before. Previous real world jobs were go to work from 8-5, then by the time you get done going to the grocery store, the gym, and whatever else you had to do it was 7:30-8:00 before getting home, walking the dog, making dinner, do some chores, watch an hour of TV, bed and repeat for all but 2 days a week. (more chores) Now... when I'm home, I can do all of that before she gets home from work and we can just hang out and relax. Same way when I am gone, shes not in a hurry to get done with everything because I'm not there. (read:I am not in the way) We can now plan vacation and trips and despite what some people think... some times it does you good to be away from each other for a few days. It makes me look forward to going home instead of just seeing it as a routine. (I don't have kids yet, I understand that's a different ball game)
Just my opinion's on things. I Looooooved being single... ALOT, but now that i jumped the fence, I don't really miss it. When I get home my houe is clean, there is food to eat, the dishes are washed, and the laundry is done. (laundry is if i'm lucky. When I am off I do all of the above listed before she gets home from work. Except folding laundry, I HATE folding laundry)
Keep throwing stuff out there. Good idea for a topic.
) Our relationship has changed drastically since I started flying tho and I have followed some advice given to me through out the years that appears to be working.#1 Share a common interest.
My dad told me in high school that for something to work you have to have a common interest other than sex. Do something together that you both like doing at least 2 times a month. (more if you can) My wife dragging me shopping and me forcing her to watch the game do not count. (My wife likes to golf.... I WIN!
)#2 Make time for yourself. Being on the road for work does not count. You are still in work mode. I'm a car guy and I spend a few hours every time I am home in the garage tinkering with a project car I have. Just me, the dog, and a cold beer. (depending on which tools I'm using) Doing chores and honey-do list's don't qualify. (still do those tho... haha) I started forcing myself to do this when working my last flying job. I was an ops manager/pilot for a decent sized 91 company that required me to be at work 80 hours a week and on call 24/7. I loved the job but it was very taxing on your personal life. I needed "unwind time" every now and then and sitting in a bar wasn't really what I was after so once a week or so I would turn off my phone and go play with the car in my garage for a few hours. My mentality was if the hangar burned down call 911.... it was still going to be burned down in a few hours. How does it help my marriage? I don't really know, but about the time I started doing that, she would go hang out with her friends for "girls night" and our moods towards each other and life in general got ALOT better.
#3 Leave work at work.
At the 91 operator my phone always rang, I always had to make calls after 8PM (stupid west coast) emails always came in, and some sort of paperwork was with me that had to be done. My stomach jumped every time the phone rang. Like i said... i loved the job but 3 years was enough. Now, My work hat goes on and comes off in the employee parking lot. The only thing that comes home is my suitcase. I don't talk flying with my wife unless she asks something specific, no Jepp revisions, no email checking, no forums, no phone calls from crew scheduling because they #$%ed something up, Nothing. I don't know if its because of being traumatized in the previous job but in my eyes that brick of actually being off when your not at work is worth the change.
Some things I have noticed that are better in this field for relationships.
Yes the money sucks at first, (I am currently almost done with my 1st year as a Reg. FO) yes the schedule sucks but now when I am home I am away from work. My wife and I get along now better than we ever have. Believe it or not we actually get to spend 3 times as much time together than we ever have before. Previous real world jobs were go to work from 8-5, then by the time you get done going to the grocery store, the gym, and whatever else you had to do it was 7:30-8:00 before getting home, walking the dog, making dinner, do some chores, watch an hour of TV, bed and repeat for all but 2 days a week. (more chores) Now... when I'm home, I can do all of that before she gets home from work and we can just hang out and relax. Same way when I am gone, shes not in a hurry to get done with everything because I'm not there. (read:I am not in the way) We can now plan vacation and trips and despite what some people think... some times it does you good to be away from each other for a few days. It makes me look forward to going home instead of just seeing it as a routine. (I don't have kids yet, I understand that's a different ball game)
Just my opinion's on things. I Looooooved being single... ALOT, but now that i jumped the fence, I don't really miss it. When I get home my houe is clean, there is food to eat, the dishes are washed, and the laundry is done. (laundry is if i'm lucky. When I am off I do all of the above listed before she gets home from work. Except folding laundry, I HATE folding laundry)
Keep throwing stuff out there. Good idea for a topic.
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