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Old 10-20-2006, 10:48 AM
  #11  
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A fellow FO told me this one:

During descent a father asked the FA if his 4 yr old girl could use the lav. The FA said no because it had been quite bumpy. The dad got ****ed and started swearing at the FA. Once on the ground the dad got so mad he had his kid stand up and pee on the seat. Needless to say the cops responded to that one too. What a moron. I guess anyone can be a parent these days.
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Old 10-20-2006, 10:56 AM
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one of many reasons why you should have to be certified to breed
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Old 10-20-2006, 11:47 AM
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Got this one last week.

I was running behind the passengers on getting to the plane and as I was cutting in front of an older gentleman to get up the stairs he points to the left engine and, very seriously, asks "That engine works, right". Instead of my usual smart ass self, I simply resond with a yes it does. He then says "This thing has 2 engines right?" As if he was worried I was lying about the #1's working condition. I almost lost it laughing.
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Old 10-20-2006, 12:00 PM
  #14  
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2 Weeks ago I had a pax get ill and lose all bowel control from row 20 all the way to the back of a 737-800. The CA and I got the Flight Attendents drunk after that one.

It turns out she was really sick but can you imagine the look that I got from my Capt when I tried to comprehend what the FA on the phone was trying to tell me!

Last edited by Flatspin7; 10-20-2006 at 12:01 PM. Reason: poop
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Old 10-20-2006, 03:08 PM
  #15  
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The best was a story a friend told me while he was flying the B1900.

A pax walking up to the plane asks, "where is the remote control for this thing?"
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Old 10-20-2006, 09:50 PM
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Not so much stupid as clever... after all the bad comments about the regional jet, we came in and the captain set the plane down pretty firmly on the pavement, and proceeded to brake aggressively. During the deplaning process, an older gentleman stuck his head in the cockpit and says to us "Glad they still teach you young fellers how to catch the 3 wire"

Most clever comment I ever heard for a rough landing
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Old 10-21-2006, 04:17 AM
  #17  
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Wrenching on the-10. Over the Pacific, a pax asked me (pre 9/11 when we still could strecth our legs) if they take American money in Hawaii. Had to bite my tongue on that one.
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Old 10-21-2006, 08:11 AM
  #18  
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Going into some crappy little airport in LA, we had to go around. Flew a standard left traffic pattern and landed normally, on the SAME runway. The CA made a PA and all was normal.

When all the people got off, the FA told us this; "The pax in 1A asked if I knew the real reason we were going around." She said no. "The pilots were trying to land on the wrong runway, I'm a pilot and fly into here all the time. They were trying to land with the wind at their backs."

She said when we were on final the second time, "See, we are landing on a different runway, I told you so."

We we got off the plane to get on the van, he was staring at us like we just raped his daughter or something.
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Old 10-21-2006, 12:49 PM
  #19  
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I had some know it all tell me that I needed to get the CRJ's nose up higher in the flare to make a smoother landing.
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Old 10-21-2006, 01:44 PM
  #20  
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Originally Posted by VegasBoy
I had a girl I knew from high-school walk onto a plane I was flying and on seeing me in the cockpit she said, "you have to get out of there before someone sees you and you get in trouble."

I think that's my favorite story so far!
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