METO Guido

Reaching out to a larger audience. How you got here. What you’ve witnessed and participated in. Answering our country’s call to arms, service as an airline pilot. Concealing a stigmatized treatment many others have been forced to forgo. Getting better as many might given opportunity. You write well fwiw. Thanks for sharing. Snappy salute soldier.

PilotdadCJDCMD

Oh, I see, yes that makes sense completely. I find it amusing how people are surprised that pilots hide health conditions. Every single pilot I know admits they have their FAA doctor and their regular doctor. Nothing that is said to regular doctor is said to FAA doctor. Essentially almost everybody is deceitful to some extent (and I am not judging this). The reason for this is possible punitive action (or the perceived punitive action) that can destroy a career. Our career is one of a few that require a medical exam and certificate. The potential loss of income is enough motivation for just about anybody to lie and continue working. The system is not set up for pilots to come forward. Let’s face it, those of us that fly for a living have dedicated years and decades to this craft. It is all most of us have ever done. The prospect of starting over completely is frightening. Furthermore, we were in active conflict in the middle east for 20 years, that includes pilots. For anyone to think that it is a rarity for pilots to have mental health conditions (most of us are prior military), is asinine. The FAAs priority is to protect the public. I believe most airline passengers would not want to fly on an airplane with a pilot that is having a mental health condition treated. We can get into theory all day long, but if the flying public knew the level of alcoholism within the airlines, they would likely be appalled as well.

I really think aviation medicine is in need of a major overhaul. Let’s take a look at my case (outside of the lying and breaking the law part). I have treated my depression for over a decade (on my own secretly of course), during that time I have had an excellent employment record, training record, earned several type ratings and dual ATPs, even made captain at my company. If anybody is proof that you CAN GET BETTER and perform just fine, it’s me. I ponder how many other folks are doing what I am. Maybe it is relatively few, and I am just a scum bag liar. Maybe it is more than we think. It is an interesting question that is for sure. This mental health stigma is still there, and I don’t know what has to be done to improve it. I know it is hard for people to understand what depression is, especially those who have never experienced it. Some people just have brains of steel. I believe somewhere between 10-20% of all people will experience at least one mental health episode in their lives. So basically, that same number applied to pilots. It is there and once it get acknowledged fully and accepted, then people will come forward for help and disclosure. But as of now it is still a taboo subject.

Once again, I know what I did was wrong and there is no excuse for it. That’s why I am trying to do what I can bring it to light. I will keep posting here to track my progress with everybody.

Maybe I can write a book haha.

Brookland

I have total confidence in my government and their cronies.

So should you...they are without blemish.They, too, always follow the rules - just ask Hunter.

On a separate note, from The Merchant of Venice:The quality of mercy is not strained;
It droppeth as the gentle rain from heaven
Upon the place beneath. It is twice blest;
It blesseth him that gives and him that takes:
'T is mightiest in the mightiest; it becomes
The throned monarch better than his crown:
His sceptre shows the force of temporal power,
The attribute to awe and majesty,
Wherein doth sit the dread and fear of kings;
But mercy is above this sceptred sway;
It is enthronèd in the hearts of kings,
It is an attribute to God himself;
And earthly power doth then show likest God's
When mercy seasons justice. Therefore, Jew,
Though justice be thy plea, consider this,
That, in the course of justice, none of us
Should see salvation: we do pray for mercy;
And that same prayer doth teach us all to render
The deeds of mercy. I have spoke thus much
To mitigate the justice of thy plea;
Which if thou follow, this strict court of Venice
Must needs give sentence 'gainst the merchant there.

METO Guido

The urge to atone for misconduct is human. How well it works, can’t say personally. Learning to leave the past where it belongs helped me some. To say the ‘system’ is broken, I would reply, what system? Disclose & hims forever, gmab. There has to be another way.

Worthy topic. Got to find something to do while waiting. What are going to do?

PilotdadCJDCMD

I have asked my company if I could teach in the classroom or something, but I haven’t heard back. I am also thinking about truck driving school (Top Gun I know) haha. I like the idea of taking goods places they need to be, and the money is not too bad. If you own your own truck, I hear it’s a pretty good gig. Flight Safety is always an option if my airman certificates remain intact. A lot of my future is up in the air at the moment. For now, I will be at the mercy of the FAA. I’m also a dad so I will take advantage of some quality time with my children.

PilotdadCJDCMD

I am indeed hoping for a second chance but not expecting it. I think I am a pretty good pilot, better than some and worse than others. I still have a lot to offer in the industry. I have dang near done just about everything in aviation. From putting out fires with a bucket under a helicopter, transporting wounded to hospitals, helping with the Katrina disaster, the middle east crap, to the airlines. I am not counting on it though; I am already looking at moving on to other things. Forgiveness and mercy are important qualities, but I understand that sometimes not getting prosecuted for law violations is forgiveness enough.

TiredSoul

First of all I’m not trying to ridicule you, however I’m struggling with fully understanding why. The chances of being found out being near zero unless something recently changed.
Since you didn’t try and pull a couple of fire handles I think you would have been ok.

JohnBurke

I tell my AME everything. I haven't had a personal doctor in something like 35 years; I use my AME. I only see him twice a year, but if anything's going on, I bring it to him. If anything crops up, I call him or email and talk about it. A few surgeries on the side, and I've consulted with him before and after. Consult with AMAS, too.

My AME has written prescriptions for me, and at one point I was having headaches; the AME correctly determined that I had a sinus infection. I didn't know I had it; no outward signs, but he prescribed, got over it, and the headaches went away. The AME has been able to pinpoint things for me that I hadn't caught, which was immensely useful. I have been grounded a time or two, but used the AME to work through the issue to get back on the line.

Anything at all that comes up, I research and stufy thoroughly, with a know-before-you-go attitude.

There is often more than one way to skin a cat . Sometimes, the cat is grateful.

The chances of being discovered are greater than you might think, with numerous avenues for discovery, from inadvertent self-disclosal to a gift from a non-friend, to an incident inviting a closer look, to increasing database access, to other medical issues which might arise. As mentioned before, I'm acquainted with a case in which the airman was found out by a talk he gave in his church; an inspector at the local FSDO was visiting and in the congregation that day, and took it upon himself to pursue the matter.

The original poster indicated the secret has been weighing on him for a long time, and he elected to unburden. Moreover, should he have been discovered and prosecuted without coming forward, the vigor of action against him would have been heightened considerably. If anything else, proactive disclosure equates to an eventual attitude of compliance, albeit having hidden the matter for an extended period. Still, he came to a decision, grounded himself, and has stated a willingness to face the consequences.

I've long been of the opinion that one ought not reveal what is not discovered, but there are limitations tied to a point of diminishing returns. What goes around can come back around to bite.

Once the matter is addressed and put to bed, and finally approved by special issuance, then it's either previously reported, no changes, or compliance in accordance with the requirements established in the special issuance waiver. That's a guilt and worry-free future that's been organized. That's a good thing.

rickair7777

Trucks can be (are) a hard life. Owner-operator gives you flexibility but you have to drive your arse off to get ahead, and ten hours in a truck is longer than ten hours in most airplanes. I don't think you're going to make any real money unless you own multiple trucks and employ drivers. Low barrier to entry, so low common denominator. Maybe the driver shortage favors drivers right now?

Look into UPS... their over the road operations are almost all out-and-back day trips from their local hubs, home every night, M-F with holidays off. Historically you had to start driving package delivery vans and do that for years before you could bid into the "big iron" but right now it's common to get hired right into over-the-road. Operates like an airline... seniority, quarterly(?) bids for schedules, reserves, etc.

Strong union, good benefits, pension.

By best friend does that, started part-time night shift in college in the 80's and worked his way up. Economy sucked when he graduated so he just stayed. Probably retire in his mid-50's with a nice pension and bennies. Some guys like the money and drive until they drop (no age limit). You can make impressive money if you chase the OT.

rickair7777

I have a good AME. I can tell him anything that I would tell any other doc. But I'm not planning on flying with obvious grounding conditions anyway.

And yes it's easier to get caught than many folks think. People get lulled into a false sense of security because it's not *that* easy to get caught... but if you do, the consequences are going high and right, very quickly. Issues that many folks rationalize as "no big thing" will get your certs shredded, and DOJ prosecutors sniffing around.