fr8rcaptain

29 years old: Get back from war all tuckered out. Wants out of military.

30 years old: Apply to six airlines, get hired by one. World is your oyster.

31 years old: Buy flashy car, house and lots of toys. Get over the military poverty feeling.

32 years old: Divorce boring 1st wife. Pay child support and maintenance. Drink lots of booze and screw around while looking for a 2nd wife.

33 years old: Furloughed. Join military reserve unit and fly for fun. Repeat above for a few more years.

35 years old: Airline recall. More screwing around but looking forward to a good marriage and settling down.

36 years old: Marry young spunky 25 year old flight attendant.

37 years old: Buy another house. Gave first one to first wife.

38 years old: Give in to second wife to have more kids. Father again. Wife concerned about "risky" military Reserve flying so you resign commission.

39 years old: Now a Captain. Hooray! Upgrade house, buy bigger boat, small single engine airplane and even flashier cars.

42 years old: 2nd wife runs off with wealthy investment banker but still wants her share of the house (100%) .

43 years old: Settled up with wife # 2 and resolve to stay away from women forever. Seek a position as a check Captain for 10% pay override to pay mounting bills. Move into 1 bedroom apartment with window air conditioner.

44 years old: Company resizes and you're returned to copilot status. 29% pay cut. Become simulator instructor for 10% override pay.

49 years old: Captain again. Move into 2-bedroom luxury apartment with central air conditioning.

50 years old: Meet younger sexy Danish model on International trip. She loves you and says you are very "beeeeg!"

51 years old: Marry sexy Danish model for wife #3. Buy big house, boat, twin engine airplane and upgrade cars.

52 years old: Sexy model wants kids (not again). Resolve to get vasectomy.

54 years old: Try to talk wife out of kids, but presto, she's pregnant. She says she got sick after taking the pill. Accident, sorry, won't happen again.

55 years old: Father of twins.

56 years old: Wife #3 wants bigger house, bigger boat and very flashy cars, "worried" about your private flying and wants you to sell expensive twin engine airplane. You give in. You buy a motorcycle and join motorcycle club.

57 years old: Wow how did I get this old this fast ? ? Make rash investments to try and have enough money for retirement.

59 years old: Lose money on rash investment and get audited by the IRS. You have to fly 100% International night trips just to keep up with child support and alimony to wife's #1 and #2.

60 years old: Wife #3 (sexy model) says you're too damned old and no fun any more. She leaves. She takes most of your assets. You're forced to retire due to Age 60 rule. But now you have no money left.

61 years old: Now Captain on a non-schedule South American DC-8 freight outfit and living in a non-air conditioned studio apartment directly underneath the final approach to runway 9 at Miami Int'l. You have "interesting" Hispanic neighbors who ask you if you've ever flown DC-3's.

65 years old: You lose FAA medical and get job as sim instructor. Don't look forward to years of getting up at 2 AM for 3 AM sim in every god-forsaken town you train in due to the fact your carrier will only pay for cheap, off-hours sim time at various Brand X Airlines.

70 years old: Hotel alarm clock set by previous UPS crewmember goes off at 1:05 AM. Have heart attack and die with smile on face. Happy at last!

Ain't aviation great!

dclevenger

Happiness always at the end once paying out money is finished,

NGINEWHOISWHAT

That's some DEPRESSING reading! Whoever wrote that has:

A. To much time on their hands.
B. Has WAY to much time on their hands.
C. Probably wrote the song below.
D. Has DEEP insight!



"THAT'S THE WAY I'VE ALWAYS HEARD IT SHOULD BE," Carly Simon, 1977
My father sits at night with no lights on
His cigarette glows in the dark
The living room is still
I walk by, no remark ...
I tiptoe past the master bedroom where my mother reads her magazine
I hear her call 'sweet dreams'
But I forget how to dream
Well, you say it's time we move in together
And raise a family of our own, you and me
Well, that's the way I've always heard it should be
You want to marry me
We'll marry
My friends from college are all married now
They have their houses and their lawns
They have their silent noons, tearful nights, angry dawns
Their children hate them for the things they're not
They hate themselves for what they are
And yet they drink, they laugh
Close the wound, hide the scar
Well, you say it's time we move in together
And raise a family of our own, you and me
Well, that's the way I've always heard it should be
You want to marry me
We'll marry
You say that we can keep our love alive
Babe, all I know is what I see
The lovers cling and claw and drown in love's debris
You say we'll soar like two birds through the sky
But then you'll cage me on your shelf
I'll never learn to be just me first, by myself... Well, okay, it's time we move in together
And raise a family of our own, you and me
Well, that's the way I've always heard it should be
You want to marry me
We'll marry

Proptrash

Fr8rcaptain,
That's some great stuff! LOL!

UNDGUY

Damn those women. I'm going to be done after the first (current but not for long) wife. I've heard too many stories similar to the one above.

Bullcom

On one of my first trips as an airline pilot, sitting sideways on the way to montana, the captain looks back at me and says..."so, have you ever heard of the 'rule of $50 thousand?'".

leave the military making $50k

work on up to around $100k

divorce 1st wife, back to $50k

make capt, marry flight attendant, work back up to $100k

divorce flight attendant, back to $50k

work up to big iron, marry stripper wife, back up to $100k

divorce stripper wife, back to $50k

So the moral of the story....get used to living on $50 thousand!