So, you want to be an airline pilot?
12-18-2005, 07:57 AM
#1
Gets Weekends Off
Thread Starter
Joined APC: Aug 2005
Position: Retired 121 pilot
Posts: 1,033
So, you want to be an airline pilot?
My apologies if this has been posted before. 
------------------------------------------------------------
I walked into the interview with a great deal of confidence and
enthusiasm. Flying airplanes was my one true passion in this life.
This was my big chance to merge my occupation with my love. I would
become an airline pilot.
"So you want to be an airline pilot?" the interviewer inquired.
"Yes, sir, more than anything else I have ever wanted," I replied,
realizing I sounded like an anxious adolescent.
"Well, great, welcome aboard," the airline executive said.
"You mean I'm hired?!" I cheered.
"You bet, we're glad to have you. Actually, we've had trouble
finding good pilots to hire," the exec explained. If I was
surprised, it was overshadowed by my joy of reaching my dream.
"Let's just go over a few points before you sign on the dotted line,"
the company man chortled. "We're going to send you to the world's
most renowned medical center. They'll spend two days probing your
body orifices, draining and analyzing your blood, and administering
psychological exams. They'll literally take you apart and put you
back together. If they find any hint of current or future problems,
you're fired and can find your own ride home."
"Gee, I think my health is OK," I nervously choked out.
The manager went on, "Good, next we'll evaluate your flying skills in
an aircraft you've never been in before.
"If we don't like the way you perform, you're fired,"
I was confident with my flying, but this guy was making me nervous.
He continued, "Next, if you're still here, we'll run you through our
training program. If during any time in the next 10 years you decide
to leave the company, you'll have to reimburse us $20,000, or we'll
sue you. Also if you fail to measure up during training, you're
fired."
The man who had just given me my dream job listed still more
hurdles. "Each time, before we allow you near one of our multimillion
dollar aircraft we'll X-ray your flight bag and luggage, because we
don't trust you. Also we'll ask you to pass through a magnetometer
each time. If you fail to do so, you'll be arrested and jailed."
"When you've completed your flight, we'll have you provide a urine
sample, because we don't trust you to not take drugs. Very soon, we
plan to take a blood sample to look for more drugs.
"Also if you ever fly with another crew member who may have used
drugs or alcohol, you must report to us immediately. If you fail to
notice that anyone has used these substances, you'll be fired, have
your license to fly revoked, and be fined $10,000."
"Every six months, we want you to go back to the medical center for
another exam. If they ever find a hint of a problem, your license to
fly will be revoked and we'll fire you. Anytime you see a medical
person, you must tell us about it so we can see if you need to be
grounded and terminated. Also, we need to examine your driving
record, and you must tell us if you have even any minor infractions
so we can remove you from the cockpit as soon as possible."
"At any time, without notice, a special branch of the government will
send one of its inspectors to ride in your aircraft. The inspector
will demand to see your papers and license; if your papers are not in
order, you'll be removed, fined, terminated, and possibly jailed."
"If at any time you make an error in judgment or an honest human
mistake, you will be terminated, be fined tens of thousands of
dollars, and be dragged through months of court proceedings. The
government will make sure you never fly again for any airline."
"You will be well out of town most holidays, weekends, and family
events - half our pilots are always on the job at any point in time.
Smiling an evil smile now, the airline hirer went on. "Oh, and one
last thing to cover. Occasionally, we in management fail to see a
trend and screw up royally or the country's economy falls flat on its
face. If as a result of one of those events the corporation begins
to lose money, you as an employee will be expected to make up the
losses from your paycheck. Of course, management will not be held to
the same standards. Oh, and one last thing - if we negotiate pay and
work rule concessions from you in the future in exchange for a better
pension plan, we probably won't fund that pension plan agreement
(unlike the management pension plan and golden parachutes) and will
likely have yanked it away from you."
"Now sign here," he pointed, grinning as he handed me a pen.
I faked a sudden nosebleed. Holding my head back and pinching my
nostrils, I hurried from his office. When I got to the hall, I began
to run. I ran all the way to my car. I figured if I hurried I could
still get to the county vocational school before 5:00 and enroll in
the industrial welding career program.
------------------------------------------------------------
I walked into the interview with a great deal of confidence and
enthusiasm. Flying airplanes was my one true passion in this life.
This was my big chance to merge my occupation with my love. I would
become an airline pilot.
"So you want to be an airline pilot?" the interviewer inquired.
"Yes, sir, more than anything else I have ever wanted," I replied,
realizing I sounded like an anxious adolescent.
"Well, great, welcome aboard," the airline executive said.
"You mean I'm hired?!" I cheered.
"You bet, we're glad to have you. Actually, we've had trouble
finding good pilots to hire," the exec explained. If I was
surprised, it was overshadowed by my joy of reaching my dream.
"Let's just go over a few points before you sign on the dotted line,"
the company man chortled. "We're going to send you to the world's
most renowned medical center. They'll spend two days probing your
body orifices, draining and analyzing your blood, and administering
psychological exams. They'll literally take you apart and put you
back together. If they find any hint of current or future problems,
you're fired and can find your own ride home."
"Gee, I think my health is OK," I nervously choked out.
The manager went on, "Good, next we'll evaluate your flying skills in
an aircraft you've never been in before.
"If we don't like the way you perform, you're fired,"
I was confident with my flying, but this guy was making me nervous.
He continued, "Next, if you're still here, we'll run you through our
training program. If during any time in the next 10 years you decide
to leave the company, you'll have to reimburse us $20,000, or we'll
sue you. Also if you fail to measure up during training, you're
fired."
The man who had just given me my dream job listed still more
hurdles. "Each time, before we allow you near one of our multimillion
dollar aircraft we'll X-ray your flight bag and luggage, because we
don't trust you. Also we'll ask you to pass through a magnetometer
each time. If you fail to do so, you'll be arrested and jailed."
"When you've completed your flight, we'll have you provide a urine
sample, because we don't trust you to not take drugs. Very soon, we
plan to take a blood sample to look for more drugs.
"Also if you ever fly with another crew member who may have used
drugs or alcohol, you must report to us immediately. If you fail to
notice that anyone has used these substances, you'll be fired, have
your license to fly revoked, and be fined $10,000."
"Every six months, we want you to go back to the medical center for
another exam. If they ever find a hint of a problem, your license to
fly will be revoked and we'll fire you. Anytime you see a medical
person, you must tell us about it so we can see if you need to be
grounded and terminated. Also, we need to examine your driving
record, and you must tell us if you have even any minor infractions
so we can remove you from the cockpit as soon as possible."
"At any time, without notice, a special branch of the government will
send one of its inspectors to ride in your aircraft. The inspector
will demand to see your papers and license; if your papers are not in
order, you'll be removed, fined, terminated, and possibly jailed."
"If at any time you make an error in judgment or an honest human
mistake, you will be terminated, be fined tens of thousands of
dollars, and be dragged through months of court proceedings. The
government will make sure you never fly again for any airline."
"You will be well out of town most holidays, weekends, and family
events - half our pilots are always on the job at any point in time.
Smiling an evil smile now, the airline hirer went on. "Oh, and one
last thing to cover. Occasionally, we in management fail to see a
trend and screw up royally or the country's economy falls flat on its
face. If as a result of one of those events the corporation begins
to lose money, you as an employee will be expected to make up the
losses from your paycheck. Of course, management will not be held to
the same standards. Oh, and one last thing - if we negotiate pay and
work rule concessions from you in the future in exchange for a better
pension plan, we probably won't fund that pension plan agreement
(unlike the management pension plan and golden parachutes) and will
likely have yanked it away from you."
"Now sign here," he pointed, grinning as he handed me a pen.
I faked a sudden nosebleed. Holding my head back and pinching my
nostrils, I hurried from his office. When I got to the hall, I began
to run. I ran all the way to my car. I figured if I hurried I could
still get to the county vocational school before 5:00 and enroll in
the industrial welding career program.
12-19-2005, 07:10 PM
#5
Gets Weekends Off
Joined APC: Dec 2005
Position: 7ER B...whatever that means.
Posts: 3,982
Originally Posted by StearmanDriver
Don't forget about all the flight instructors in the world that would do all of that for free, just to fly an airliner!
12-20-2005, 12:19 PM
#7
Guest
Posts: n/a
Yes, as a matter of fact, I was an instructor for about 4 years. And if I knew then what I know now, my life would be very different.
If my statement offends you, i appologize. I think that instructors are the back-bone of the business, but that doesn't mean that the instructors looking for an airline job need to be educated about the truth of the job first.
I look back at when I was an instructor and I remember what it was like to want an airline job so bad, i could taste it.
The sad fact is that this will never change. There are too many pilots, INSTRUCTORS INCLUDED, that would do exactly what is in the original post of this thread, for free.
That is exactly what is holding down this industry. Pilots willing to work for peanuts and cross picket lines and without union representation just so they can fly an airliner. Its called "S.J.S" (Shiny Jet Syndrome). Pilots that are willing to take the jobs of other pilots because they just "love flying".
Sorry, but its a fact.
I am not stereotyping all instructors because there are those that teach on the side of their normal job...I'm speaking to the young kids with stars in their eyes and Jetfuel for brains. They dont understand until they get there. I didn't. I could fill some of these young folks in with a lot of advice about this business and most of the fact would probably surprise them.
If my statement offends you, i appologize. I think that instructors are the back-bone of the business, but that doesn't mean that the instructors looking for an airline job need to be educated about the truth of the job first.
I look back at when I was an instructor and I remember what it was like to want an airline job so bad, i could taste it.
The sad fact is that this will never change. There are too many pilots, INSTRUCTORS INCLUDED, that would do exactly what is in the original post of this thread, for free.
That is exactly what is holding down this industry. Pilots willing to work for peanuts and cross picket lines and without union representation just so they can fly an airliner. Its called "S.J.S" (Shiny Jet Syndrome). Pilots that are willing to take the jobs of other pilots because they just "love flying".
Sorry, but its a fact.
I am not stereotyping all instructors because there are those that teach on the side of their normal job...I'm speaking to the young kids with stars in their eyes and Jetfuel for brains. They dont understand until they get there. I didn't. I could fill some of these young folks in with a lot of advice about this business and most of the fact would probably surprise them.
12-21-2005, 11:35 AM
#8
Self Employed.
Joined APC: May 2005
Position: Corporate Pilot
Posts: 7,119
Stearman
Stearman,
You speak of some negatives of flying for the airlines and you are a regional captain. Isn't everyday a blessing and joy? Are you not satisfied with the rewards of the magic of flight? Are the the pilots who complain about money just greedy and unappreciative of the gifts of the profession? Tell us.
SkyHigh
You speak of some negatives of flying for the airlines and you are a regional captain. Isn't everyday a blessing and joy? Are you not satisfied with the rewards of the magic of flight? Are the the pilots who complain about money just greedy and unappreciative of the gifts of the profession? Tell us.
SkyHigh
12-21-2005, 05:23 PM
#10
Guest
Posts: n/a
Originally Posted by SkyHigh
Stearman,
You speak of some negatives of flying for the airlines and you are a regional captain. Isn't everyday a blessing and joy?
You speak of some negatives of flying for the airlines and you are a regional captain. Isn't everyday a blessing and joy?
Originally Posted by SkyHigh
Are you not satisfied with the rewards of the magic of flight?
Originally Posted by SkyHigh
Are the the pilots who complain about money just greedy and unappreciative of the gifts of the profession?
Originally Posted by SkyHigh
Tell us.
SkyHigh
SkyHigh
p.s., I caught the sarcasm, dont worry.
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