joel payne

A little faith can do wonders.


Merry Christmas shipmates! May the Lord bless & keep you all! And
a little smile of mirth never hurts either...

Subject: Navy: The Gospel according to St. Fresnel

Chapter One, Verses One through Six

1. In the Beginning, God created the heavens, and the Aircraft Carrier,
and the seas upon which to float it; and yet there was complete Darkness
upon the face of the earth. And, as we traveled, there came to us, as a
voice out of the darkness, an angel of the Lord, saying, "On centerline,
on Glideslope, three quarters of a mile, call the ball." I reflected
upon these words, for I was still yet engulfed in complete darkness.
With deep feeling and doubt overwhelming my countenance, I glanceth
Towards my companion at my right hand and saith, "What seeth thou,
Trusted friend?", and there was a great silence. Gazing in a searching
manner and seeing naught, I raised my voice saying, "Clara......."

2. And God spoke to me, and He said, "You're low....power". As the Lord
saith, so shall it be, and I added power; and lo, the ball riseth up
onto the bottom of the mirror. But it was a tainted red glow, and surely
indicateth Satan's own influence. And God spoke to me again saying,
"Power...Power...Power!!!!....fly the ball." And lo, the ball riseth up
and off the top of the lens, and the great darkness was upon me.

3. And the voice of the Angel came to me again, saying, "When
comfortable, twelve hundred feet, turn downwind." Whereupon I wandered
in the darkness, without direction, for surely the ships radar was beset
by demons, and there was great confusion cast upon CATCC, and there was
a great silence in which there was no comfort to be found. Even my TACAN
needle spinneth......and lo, there was chaos; my trusted companion
weepeth quietly unto himself and from close behind I heard weeping and
gnashing of teeth of our flock. There was a great turmoil within my
cockpit for a multitude of serpents had crept therein.

4. And though we wandered, as if by Providence I found myself within
that Holy Corridor, and at twelve hundred feet, among my brethren
seeking refuge; and the voice of the Angel of the Lord came to me again,
asking of me my needles, and I raised my voice saying, "Up and
centered", and the voice answered, "Roger, fly your needles...." I
reflected upon these words, and I raised my voice in prayer, for though
my gyro indicateth it not so, surely my aircraft hath been turned upside
down. Verily, as Beelzebub surely wrestled with me, a voice, that of my
trusted companion, saith to me calmly, "Friend.....fly thy needles, and
find comfort in the Lord." And lo, with deep trembling in my heart, I
did, and He guideth me to centered glideslope and centerline, though I
know not how it came to be.

5. And out of the great darkness, God spoke to me again saying, "Roger
ball" for now I had faith. And though the ball began to rise at the in
close position, my right hand was full of the Spirit, and it squeeketh
off power and as in a great miracle my plane stoppeth upon the flight
deck, for it hath caught the four wire which God in his infinite wisdom
hath placed thirty feet further down the flight deck than the three
wire.

6. And thus bathed in a golden radiance from above, our pilgrimage was
at an end, and my spirit was truly reborn. And as I basked in the
rapture, God spoketh to me one final time, and He saith, "Lights out on
deck...

Paddles

Joel,

Merry Christmas and thanks for that great post! From one who was just shy of 900 (894) traps with 361 of the darker flavor, this brings back some very funny (in retrospect) moments. I will forward your post to all my former JO's who are now Skippers of their own squadrons and on deployment.

Fair winds and following seas,

Paddles