A worn out guy
05-13-2012, 02:57 PM
#11
Runs with scissors
Joined APC: Dec 2009
Position: Going to hell in a bucket, but enjoying the ride .
Posts: 7,754
As a cancer survivor myself maybe I can give some insight. When you are sick you find out who your friends are. Two of my good friends came to visit me in the hospital and at home. I truly appreciated the fact that they took time out of their day to see how I was doing. It didn't matter what they said, it was enough that they cared enough to make an appearance.
Compare that to the people that "I didn't want to bother you in this difficult time". This is more about them being afraid of saying something wrong and not being able to do anything for you. A simple statement like "Man, I'm so sorry you and your family are going thru this" is enough.
Compare that to the people that "I didn't want to bother you in this difficult time". This is more about them being afraid of saying something wrong and not being able to do anything for you. A simple statement like "Man, I'm so sorry you and your family are going thru this" is enough.
Thanks for the input from all above, I'm going to put together a 2 day trip to see him, but I'm going to talk to his wife first, see if she thinks it would be a good idea or too upsetting for him.
For the past 6mo. he's been very upbeat, "I'm going to beat this thing" with a positive attitude, but when I just talked to him, he was not his usual upbeat, 'make the best of it' self on the phone, as could be expected. He was really, really, upset and said, "I hate to cut you off, but I've been having to tell people this all day and I'm getting tired of it..."
So if his wife says ok, I'll go, but if she says no, then I guess I won't. Or maybe wait a month, because this is pretty 'fresh' bad news, maybe in a month he'll have settled down a bit.
05-14-2012, 08:24 AM
#13
Gets Weekends Off
Joined APC: Mar 2006
Posts: 215
Timbo typed:> So if his wife says ok, I'll go, but if she says no, then I guess I won't. Or maybe wait a month, because this is pretty 'fresh' bad news, maybe in a month he'll have settled down a bit.>
Sounds like a good plan, it was nice that you reached out to him on the phone. I wish him well.
Sounds like a good plan, it was nice that you reached out to him on the phone. I wish him well.
05-14-2012, 03:50 PM
#15
Day puke
Thread Starter
Joined APC: Feb 2006
Position: Out.
Posts: 3,865
Timbo,
Sorry to here about your buddy. When I was sick, the visits I liked the most were doing something ordinary. I hated the everyone sitting in the room pouting. Depending on how ambulatory he is, take him bowling, down to the corner bar to watch a game, or whatever you would have done during a visit it he weren't dieing. Take him and the Mrs. out to diner. If he has kids, take them all fishing or to Cuck E Cheese. Let him watch his kids play.
He wants to be normal, but it ain't gonna happen. He knows it, and so does everybody else. We are all dieing, just at different paces.
And don't worry, when the time comes, he'll talk to you.
Just my opinion.
j
Sorry to here about your buddy. When I was sick, the visits I liked the most were doing something ordinary. I hated the everyone sitting in the room pouting. Depending on how ambulatory he is, take him bowling, down to the corner bar to watch a game, or whatever you would have done during a visit it he weren't dieing. Take him and the Mrs. out to diner. If he has kids, take them all fishing or to Cuck E Cheese. Let him watch his kids play.
He wants to be normal, but it ain't gonna happen. He knows it, and so does everybody else. We are all dieing, just at different paces.
And don't worry, when the time comes, he'll talk to you.
Just my opinion.
j
05-14-2012, 04:13 PM
#16
Day puke
Thread Starter
Joined APC: Feb 2006
Position: Out.
Posts: 3,865
For everybody else,
Thanks for the replies. Lots of good suggestions. I'm thinking volunteering is a great idea for this guy. The bar is in the Museum District in Houston (at least a dozen of all sorts in a 2 mile radius).
Thanks so much.
jsh
Thanks for the replies. Lots of good suggestions. I'm thinking volunteering is a great idea for this guy. The bar is in the Museum District in Houston (at least a dozen of all sorts in a 2 mile radius).
Thanks so much.
jsh
05-14-2012, 06:00 PM
#18
Runs with scissors
Joined APC: Dec 2009
Position: Going to hell in a bucket, but enjoying the ride .
Posts: 7,754
As for my friend, he's 56, got three kids who are all grown up, one new grandaughter, but I'm going to try to get him up in a Cub when I go to visit him, if he's strong enough to go flying. He's got a lot of big airplane time but no light plane stuff, so he might get a kick out of flying a Cub.
I've got another Buddy up there (New Hampshire) who's got a Cub (several actually) so I'll probably be able to get one easily enough, but then I've got to find a strip near his my sick friends house, or find a Cub on floats, he lives on a lake.
05-15-2012, 05:02 PM
#20
With The Resistance
Joined APC: Jan 2006
Position: Burning the Agitprop of the Apparat
Posts: 6,191
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