meeko031

A penguin walks in the bar and asks the bartender, "hey, have you seen my brother?" Bartender asks, "what does he look like?"

That's all folks, I'll be here all week!

Erthwerm

a grasshopper walks into a bar and the bartender says: "hey, a grasshopper! we have a drink named after you!"

the grasshopper says: "you have a drink named Melvin?!"

-----

Pierre, the French fighter pilot and his girlfriend are out on a picnic near the Seine. His girlfriend says: "Pierre, kiss me." So, he takes some red wine, dabs it on his fingers, presses them on her lips and kisses her. Shocked, she says: "Pierre, what are you doing?" to which he replies: "I'm Pierre, the French Fighter pilot; when I have red meat, I have red wine!" and continues kissing her.

A bit later, she says: "kiss me lower" and he splashes her chest with white wine and she says: "pierre! what are you doing?" and he says: "I'm pierre the french fighter pilot; when I have white mean, I have white wine!" and continues kissing her.

Some time after this, she says: "kiss me lower..." He grabs her pants, pulls them down, douses the area with cognac and lights a match. His girlfriend is thoroughly shocked and says: "Pierre! What on Earth are you doing??!!!" to which he replies: "I'm Pierre, the French fighter pilot. And when I go down, I go down in flames!"


try the veal!

FlyJSH

From a FA:

What happens to a pilot when he takes Viagra?

He gets taller.

peteq

Ha ha ha ha ...., HEY!

plasticpi

I thought this was going in a different direction, as in what Pierre would drink with fish.

Photon

hahaha, that's a good one. I wish someone would fill the atc humor thread with some fresh meat as well

tsquared030

A duck walks into a bar, jumps up onto a stool and says to the bartender, "I'd like a beer".

The bartender just looks at the duck for a moment, astounded, and then tells him, "You ought to work at the circus".

And the duck says, "Why? Does the circus need a welder?"

plasticpi

A man walks into the bar and sits down. The bartender asks him what he wants, and the man replies "I'd love a beer, however I don't have any money."
The bartender sighs, and says "Ok, fine. Just show me something amazing, and I'll give you a beer on the house."
The man reaches into his briefcase, pulls out a frog and a tiny piano, and sets them on the bar. The frog hops onto the tiny bench and starts playing.
"Oh my god, that's amazing!" says the bartender, and hands the man a beer.
A little while later, the man has finished his beer, and the bartender asks him if there's anything else he can get him.
"I'd really love another beer, but I still don't have any money."
"Well, if you can top what you've already showed me, I'll give you another beer."
The man reaches into his briefcase again, pulls out a mouse, and sets the mouse on the tiny piano. The frog starts playing, and shortly thereafter, the mouse begins singing beatifully.
"Wow, that's incredible!" says the bartender, and hands the man another beer.
Another man sitting at the bar approaches and tells the man "That's unbelievable, I'll give you $5,000 right now for your animals!"
The man ponders the offer, and replies "well, I'm a bit attached to the frog, but how about the mouse for $3,000?"
"Deal!" says the other man, who pays, takes his mouse, and leaves.
The bartender says "man, you could have made so much more than that off of that mouse, why did you sell it for $3,000?"
"Because," says the man, "the frog's also a ventriloquist."

alarkyokie

Descartes walks into a bar.

The bartender walks up to him and says, “Would you care for a drink?”

Descartes replied, “I think not.” and disappears.

meeko031

A penguin gets ready for work and gets in his car. He has difficulties in starting the car so he gets out, pushes it accross the street to a car garage. The mechanic asks the penguin "what's wrong with it"? The penguin says "it does not want to start this morning". Mechanic says, "pop the hood and give me ten minutes"
Instead of waiting, the penguin runs across the street to an ice cream shop and orders two scoops of vanilla ice cream. Since the penguin is pressed for time, he doesn't ask for a spoon and immediately eats off the cup. After inhaling the ice cream, the penguin runs across the street and asks the mechanic if he figured it out. As the mechanic pulls his head under the hood, he says, it looks like you blew a seal!!! The penguin says. uh... uh.. no it's just ice cream!!!