Weirdest thing while working...
04-21-2009, 06:00 PM
#11
Gets Weekends Off
Joined APC: Sep 2007
Position: DC9 Capt.
Posts: 108
As a newbie FO on a Shorts 330 many moons ago, the Captain announced his intention to visit the head. In an arrogant tone, he gave me incredibly detailed and pedantic instructions as to how he wanted the aircraft flown during his absence. Finally, he reached up and pulled his (previously unnoticed) glass eye out of the socket, placed it on the center panel, aimed at me, and stated "remember, I'm keeping my eye on you!" and left the cockpit chuckling. Over the next few years we flew together often and he ALWAYS had a new gag to pull.
04-22-2009, 05:54 AM
#12
Flying Farmer
Joined APC: Jul 2006
Position: Turbo-props' and John Deere's
Posts: 3,160
As a newbie FO on a Shorts 330 many moons ago, the Captain announced his intention to visit the head. In an arrogant tone, he gave me incredibly detailed and pedantic instructions as to how he wanted the aircraft flown during his absence. Finally, he reached up and pulled his (previously unnoticed) glass eye out of the socket, placed it on the center panel, aimed at me, and stated "remember, I'm keeping my eye on you!" and left the cockpit chuckling. Over the next few years we flew together often and he ALWAYS had a new gag to pull.
04-22-2009, 02:53 PM
#13
Gets Weekends Off
Joined APC: Mar 2007
Position: Powered parachute, left seat
Posts: 422
2 things come to mind:
During flt CPT goes to lav (CRJ700). He comes back and I don't notice anything unusual. We land and all pax are gone except 1 lady assembling her kids stroller in the jetway. As the CPT and I walk past her (I was in front of the CPT so I didn't see it yet) she starts laughing histerically. CPT had a 2 ft long train of TP stuck to his foot. I still don't know how it stayed there from the time he finished his "deposit" to departing the plane. Damn funny though.
When I was new in the 121 world I briefly forgot about the concept of physics (pressure specifically). I had a yogurt from the hotel in the morning and went to eat it at FL390. Luckily when I opened it the seal was broken towards the CPT. He was wearing most of my strawberry yogurt and was quite ****ed. Of course I started making all sorts of off color jokes and he started laughing as well. Since then I avoid yogurt at altitude.
During flt CPT goes to lav (CRJ700). He comes back and I don't notice anything unusual. We land and all pax are gone except 1 lady assembling her kids stroller in the jetway. As the CPT and I walk past her (I was in front of the CPT so I didn't see it yet) she starts laughing histerically. CPT had a 2 ft long train of TP stuck to his foot. I still don't know how it stayed there from the time he finished his "deposit" to departing the plane. Damn funny though.
When I was new in the 121 world I briefly forgot about the concept of physics (pressure specifically). I had a yogurt from the hotel in the morning and went to eat it at FL390. Luckily when I opened it the seal was broken towards the CPT. He was wearing most of my strawberry yogurt and was quite ****ed. Of course I started making all sorts of off color jokes and he started laughing as well. Since then I avoid yogurt at altitude.
Had the same situation while cruisin from BNA or MCO. I was just reading the USA today and I see the captain rustling around out of the corner of my eye. I lower my paper and look over at him.
Me: You O.K. over there?
Capt: Yeah I opened my yogurt and it exploded on my pants
Me: Yeah I hate when that happens, when you get up just put your books over it, and walk away. No one will notice!
Capt: Yeah this doesnt look good does it?
Me: Nope!
04-25-2009, 10:15 AM
#14
Gets Weekends Off
Joined APC: Apr 2009
Position: Hiding under the counter
Posts: 276
Not an aviation story, but a job I had a while ago was working at a local lube shop. Was actually a pretty nice set up; consisted of the lube shop, a car wash, and a coffee shop.
Well one day, a lady driving a Geo Tracker pulled up in line (about a 3 car wait ahead of her). After a few minutes she stated that she was going to go through the car wash, and then come back.
We made it very clear that we do things on a first come basis, and we couldn't hold her spot. She agreed and left. When she came back, sure enough there was an even longer wait. Lady gets all bent out of shape, and finally exclaims "I'm RICH! I don't have to wait!" and drives off. In her Geo.
We all got a good laugh.
Well one day, a lady driving a Geo Tracker pulled up in line (about a 3 car wait ahead of her). After a few minutes she stated that she was going to go through the car wash, and then come back.
We made it very clear that we do things on a first come basis, and we couldn't hold her spot. She agreed and left. When she came back, sure enough there was an even longer wait. Lady gets all bent out of shape, and finally exclaims "I'm RICH! I don't have to wait!" and drives off. In her Geo.
We all got a good laugh.
04-25-2009, 11:41 AM
#15
Gets Weekends Off
Joined APC: Mar 2009
Position: missionary
Posts: 320
I was commanding a C-5 crew. One of the loadmasters was a real clown, and always making jokes to make the other crewmembers look like fools. When we landed back in the U.S., we handed this clown the stack of customs forms to give to the Customs agent that came up the stairs.
In the middle of the stack, we placed a completed order form, with his name and address, for a penis enlargement pump. The look on the Customs agent's face when he got to that form was priceless. He handed it back to the clown and said, "Uh, here, I think this is yours."
It was such sweet payback.
In the middle of the stack, we placed a completed order form, with his name and address, for a penis enlargement pump. The look on the Customs agent's face when he got to that form was priceless. He handed it back to the clown and said, "Uh, here, I think this is yours."
It was such sweet payback.
04-27-2009, 04:30 AM
#16
Line Holder
Joined APC: Feb 2006
Posts: 28
I flew with a captain for a while and he told me a great story back when he flew DC-9's. He left the cockpit to visit the aft head. One of the pax, a very large and nervous looking black lady, asked him who was flying the airplane. He said, "Oh no! I've done it again!" and ran back to the cockpit. That poor lady probably never flew again.
04-27-2009, 03:05 PM
#17
Gets Weekends Off
Joined APC: Jan 2008
Posts: 176
On one of my first flight lessons I remember watching my flight instructor climb into the cockpit and shut the door. All of a sudden I heard him scream. Come to find there was a bees nest by the air vent. I've never seen anyone move that quick before, within 1 second he was out of the plane.
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