Nickel and Dime The Passenger
04-17-2008, 11:39 PM
#11
Gets Weekends Off
Joined APC: May 2006
Position: Student Pilot
Posts: 849
*disclaimer: I'm not referring to those very few with genuine problems like haywire thyroids that cause obesity.
04-18-2008, 07:13 AM
#12
Day puke
Joined APC: Feb 2006
Position: Out.
Posts: 3,865
Nickel and dime?! I should be in management.
The following new charges apply as of the first of May. Have a good summer.
Men who weigh over 200lbs- fat charge. $50.
Woman who weigh over 130 lbs. Fat charge. $60.
People who smell bad. Stink charge. $80.
Did you just get up while the seatbelt sign is on?! Thats a charge. $40.
Ugly Women. Pay up. $100.
Need to use the Lav? Lav charge. $20 bucks each use.
Really ugly women. Double the ugliness, double the fine. $200.
Your baby is crying again? $20 for each 5 minutes of screaming.
You wanna complain? There is a fee for complaining. $30 per complaint.
You didn't turn your cell phone off before the door closed? Pay up. $25.
Getting picky with how many ice cubes you want in your cup from the flight attendant during cabin service. Big fine there Mr. Picky. $200.
Oh you are a frequent flier and you are special. Nope. Get off the airplane. Walk to New York. We dont want to hear your crap anymore.
Pay more money and quit complaining.
The following new charges apply as of the first of May. Have a good summer.
Men who weigh over 200lbs- fat charge. $50.
Woman who weigh over 130 lbs. Fat charge. $60.
People who smell bad. Stink charge. $80.
Did you just get up while the seatbelt sign is on?! Thats a charge. $40.
Ugly Women. Pay up. $100.
Need to use the Lav? Lav charge. $20 bucks each use.
Really ugly women. Double the ugliness, double the fine. $200.
Your baby is crying again? $20 for each 5 minutes of screaming.
You wanna complain? There is a fee for complaining. $30 per complaint.
You didn't turn your cell phone off before the door closed? Pay up. $25.
Getting picky with how many ice cubes you want in your cup from the flight attendant during cabin service. Big fine there Mr. Picky. $200.
Oh you are a frequent flier and you are special. Nope. Get off the airplane. Walk to New York. We dont want to hear your crap anymore.
Pay more money and quit complaining.
siit next to a hot guy/gal $20
sit next to a hot guy/gal who thinks you are cute $50
sit next to a hot guy/gal who has a rich father on his deathbed and thinks you are cute $500
04-18-2008, 05:27 PM
#13
Gets Weekends Off
Joined APC: Jan 2008
Position: the correct seat
Posts: 1,422
Fortunately (or unfortunately) that's not the case most of the time. They charge for overweight bags, why not charge the chubby customers more? That way, they can afford to keep the coffee pots and magazines.
04-20-2008, 06:07 AM
#14
Gets Weekends Off
Joined APC: Jan 2008
Position: CL-65 captain
Posts: 2,244
My airline just installed new O2 masks for the pilots. You have to drop in a quarter before you can pull the mask out, then every 2 minutes you have to drop in another quarter to keep the O2 flow going....
04-20-2008, 07:32 PM
#16
Day puke
Joined APC: Feb 2006
Position: Out.
Posts: 3,865
Oil companies do not set the price. It is a commodity and is traded publicly. The price is set by what people are willing to pay. The same holds true for every other commodity like:
rice
corn
wheat
pork bellies
oranges
orange juice
coal
natural gas
gold
iron
silver
aluminum
etc, etc.
rice
corn
wheat
pork bellies
oranges
orange juice
coal
natural gas
gold
iron
silver
aluminum
etc, etc.
04-21-2008, 03:35 PM
#18
New boss = Old boss
Joined APC: Mar 2005
Position: Ca B737
Posts: 2,762
Putnam: Do you have a suggestion for me?
Crandall: Yes. I have a suggestion for you. Raise your ******* fares twenty percent. I'll raise mine the next morning.
Putnam: Robert, we--
Crandall: You'll make more money and I will too.
Putnam: We can't talk about pricing.
Crandall: Oh bull * * * *, Howard. We can talk about any ******* thing we want to talk about.
Check out the transcript of Robert Crandall doing exactly that. And yes, he did get in trouble, just not enough trouble.
http://cases.justia.com/us-court-of-...s/F2/743/1114/
Last edited by mike734; 04-21-2008 at 03:36 PM. Reason: Format
