msmspilot

Not on the radio, but from FSS.

The student is a real estate agent, and I was teaching her how to get a weather briefing. We talked about it, roll played, then actually called. I had the speaker phone on, but she actually did the talking. We got to the altitude part, and she said "below 3,000 square feet." She corrected herself and burst out laughing. After a brief laughing fit, she got herself together.

The briefer had a very stern voice and said something like, "Young lady, flying is very serious business, and there is no room for silliness..."

She and I were looking at each other like "what is his problem?"

Then he stopped, said just kidding, and gave us the briefing. It was pretty good.


My other one was one night at KMEM:
I was with a student. Our mission was night and tower experience, and MEM was slow, so we went to play up there. We were still at cruise speed (100kts in our 172) and on about a 10 mile straight in. MEM TWR cleared us to land, but a minute later said, "N1234, cancel landing clearance, low approach only, I have an airliner to get out."

Well, I could see the airliner at the end of the runway, so I told MEM TWR we could slow down for him if he needed us to. He asked how slow can you give me? I offered 65kts.

He told us to maintain the slowest speed we could. Our groundspeed ended up being 60kts. After the airliner took off, TWR told us "thanks for your help, now... pick it back up"

jedinein

In a car, no computer or internet connection within driving distance, about to head to the airport, call for a weather briefing and ask for published NOTAMs.
Briefer: "We don't have published NOTAMs, besides, if we had to look them up every time, all the briefings would take a very long time. You're supposed to have an A/FD anyways."

2StgTurbine

A few weeks ago, a kid cleared me to takeoff at JFK. It made me smile knowing the father was showing his kid what he did everyday in the tower and made his son happy. I wish others could have heard it.

AmericanEagleFO

HAHA!! 5 points for the reference.

N9373M

Deleted - wrong thread.

tralika

I was instructing at an Air Force Flying Club. The control tower at the Air Force Base was a training tower. A student controller had a couple of F15's in the pattern, me in my cessna bug smasher and an Army Blackhawk helicopter inbound. The student controller became task saturated and told the Blackhawk helicopter to "Go Around". The Army pilots obviously were a little surprised about the instruction, replied "Ah...OK...Go Around". After a short pause the Blackhawk pilot said, "Tower, you know we're a helicopter, we can stop right here if you want". The student controller replied "Ah...OK...continue inbound and remain clear of the traffic pattern.

Freighter Captain

I was flying with an FO with a great sense of humor. ATC asks us how our ride is at FL330.

My FO: "Not too good; we've got white caps in our coffee..." LOL

mirt741

I used to fly for a humanitarian group in South America operating C185 & C206 in and out of the jungle. We hired local employees to provide flight following for us via HF radio as there was NO radar contact in that part of the world, should the need for search and rescue arise. Since the employees didn't speak English, we gringo pilots had to learn Spanish.

I had departed home base and was about 20 minutes en route when I heard our new pilot, "Jim" take off behind me in the C185. Jim was wound kind of tight which made him a fun guy to tease. As he was departing and flying past the hangar, our flight follower "Antonio" decided to have some fun with the new guy.

Antonio: (in Spanish) Cessna xxP, looks like there's something hanging from your airplane.

Jim: What!?

Antonio: Ah, Never mind, it was just the tailwheel.

Jim: What??? What did you say??? (not understanding the Spanish)

Antonio: Never mind, just kidding.

Jim: (still not understanding) Get Dave! I need to talk to Dave(The ops manager)

Dave: (now speaking in English) What's up Jim?

Jim: (almost hysterical) He said there was something wrong with the plane but I couldn't understand him!!!!

Dave: (after awkward silence) Uhhhh, it was nothing Jim. Just a joke.

Jim: (screaming) OH YEAH? WELL TELL HIM, IT'S NOT FUNNY!!!

(The rest of us remained convinced that it was.)

tsd685

Departing a decent size airport:
"Pilatus XYZ ready for takeoff"
"XYZ expect three minute delay for wake turbulence from departing RJ"
"Uhhh....Unless that's an RJ heavy we can go ahead and waive that"
"XYZ cleared for takeoff"
Probably the hardest I've laughed in a very long time.

Jetstream 823JS

CLT approach: " Bluestreak 123 Traffic 2 o'clock 3 miles westbound 1000 feet below"'

Bluestreak 123: "Bluestreak 123, We're in the clouds".

CLT approach: "Roger Bluestreak 123. Maintain IFR"