abspecial

I've had "Its Miller Time" come up on my GPS

WatchThis!

Works with Deer and E3's too

schone

Flying around southern california I've heard the following. Not really as funny as the rest here but maybe will put a smile on your face.

SOCAL APP: "United XXX, you're following a heavy airbus, 3 oc'lock, same speed as you"
United XXX:"We're looking for the big bus!"


Some other time, early in the morning at LAX:

Ground controller: "Eagle flight XXX, follow the Brazillia to runway 24L"
Eagle Flight XXX:"We'll follow the RJ, runway 24L"
Ground controller: "Yeah.... follow whatever it is..."

An another occeasion, over one of the municipal airports in L.A.
Money (I believe) forgot to check in with previous airspace and has now checked in with this airports airspace, controllers are already ticked off...

Then he goes

Money XXX: "Ahhh, sayyy tower, what's my groundspeed?"
Tower: "Money XXX, you appear to be indicating 150 knots"
Money XXX: "ahhhhh 150 knots ya say? what's that in MPH?"

Again, not the funniest, but worth mentioning.....

cjdriver

Haven't heard it yet, but want to hear a crew respond to the controller's a-chewing for not responding to repeated radio calls with: "I was on the landline"

Ranger

Years ago, flying into KLAX, I heard a controller advise a Braniff flight to look for traffic "an Arava" (it was built by the Israelis and looked kinda like a C-119 and I'm not positive about the spelling) at their 12 o'clock. The Braniff guy says, "What's an Arava?" Before the controller can answer this little voice comes up on the freq and says, "It looks like a monkey f___ing a football." There was dead silence for probably 30 seconds or so. When the controller finally answered there was a lot of very hysterical laughter in the background.

maddogmax

While the recent World Cup games were being played, a number of Foreign Carriers kept asking if anyone had any scores (123.45 over the North Atlantic) Someone then asked about the Nextel Cup, another the Americas Cup, another the Stanley Cup and another the Ryder Cup. Finally a female voice says "Het Guys, what about a D-Cup"

schone

You spelled it perfectly! Funny thing is, the pilot's description is right on the money! That's what it looks like.

http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/he/d/d2/Ara.jpg

HaveTacitBlue

Yeah? Not the pi$$y guy who, at 2300 with no other traffic in the pattern, chastised me for landing long (missed the turnoff and had to taxi down the runway) with "next time you are going to chew up 6000 feet of a 10000 foot runway, let me know so I can plan accordingly!"

HaveTacitBlue

And I have to tell on myself...

I was practicing approaches at SRQ the other week and was planning on returning to SPG after terminating the current approach by going missed. For what ever reason, tower guy clears me to land and instead of fixing it in the air, I accepted the clearance and landed. After turning off the runway and switching to ground the guy tells me to taxi to Dolphin, one of the FBOs on the field. I was turned around and generally discombobulated after the unexpected landing. Even though I had been to that FBO several times, I had it in my head that it was on the other side of the airfield and so stammered through a series of exchanges in which I told the ground guy I wanted to taxi back to 32 at Alpha. He asked me to say intentions and I (I swear) replied "I wish to depart on 32." Dumba$$. My CFI almost wet herself and has been giving me crap about it for the past two weeks. Great...and I'm about to do my commercial checkride. Heaven help us.

flynavyj

when i had just got my pvt license, was on a trip into the bravo when i heard something like this.

MCI APP: "United xxx climb and maintain 13 thousand"
(no response)
MCI APP: "United xxx did you copy?"
(no response)
MCI APP: "United xxx how do you hear this frequency?"
United XXX: "Whoops, was hitting the wrong button, sorry about that approach"

Then today, we got an akward taxi instruction from ground control at a delta airport (military/civil) which was going to make us back-taxi, not thinking much of it we did as we were instructed. As we were taxiing we recieved this call.

Gnd: "Seneca 18X, St. Joe Ground"
(after thinking, "crap" what'd we do")
Seneca 18X: "18X go ahead"
Gnd: "Yeah, 18X, what's with the big Jack-ass on your tail?"
Seneca 18X: "Come again?"
Gnd: "Yeah, you've got a big ass on your tail, what's that all about?"
Seneca 18X: "Well, we go to CMSU."
Gnd: "And?"
Seneca 18X: "Well, our mascott is the Missouri Mule"
Gnd: "Ah, roger, ass on the tail, 18X contact tower on 126.9"