FarmHawk

Despite discussing with my wife prior to making the decision together for me to upgrade and her being very familiar with the industry, my upgrade and time as a junior captain affected her more than she expected in emotional terms and had a major impact on our marriage. Because of this and recent events, I don't think she is going to be reasonable with chold custody outside of anything that is codified in the divorce agreement. I have read/heard multiple pilots talk of getting 50/50 custody where their days off are the days the have their kid(s). Max 15 days a month. Some have some minor concessions like they will bid for one or more particular days off per their ex's request. I am working with a family law firm that has had pilots before but there's only so much someone outside the industry has a grasp on. Is there anything you would recommend negotiating for in the custody agreement?

captjns

Exercise restraint from making knee jerk offers prior to consulting with your current legal representative. Perhaps you can seek out matrimonial attorney who has a respected history concerning your matter, and who, preferably is an airline pilot. Each state has guidelines, similar, but not exact the same as your neighboring state, let's say. Your situation may be affected should you need to relocate to an out of state base. Good luck with your future, and most important, may you maintain a solid relationship with your children.

FarmHawk

Thank you! Definitely nothing in writing yet and only loose conversations about the topic with my soon-to-be ex. Obviously, I need to keep my job to provide for her and pay support but I'm not letting anything stand in the way of 50% custody. Conversations have begun with an attorney that has an open mind on it and their firm has represented pilots before. However, anyone who has seen things work/not work specific to this industry would be appreciated.

Pervis

Seeking any legal advise from pilots is no different than seeking financial advise from pilots. Ill advised to say the least. If one atty doesn't provide the advise you're looking for, ask another atty.

FarmHawk

I'd say it's a little different. Money is money. However, our schedules are very different than most. I've come up with a few things that don't really apply with other jobs that we're going to negotiate for.

Swedish Blender

Reach out to Freightdawg.

He is co-founder of this site. He has been through all of this and has written books about it. He has good information and several of our company guys have reached out to him with custody issues.

https://www.goodreads.com/author/sho...hn_T_Steinbeck

FarmHawk

Thanks so much!!

VacancyBid

Sorry you're going through that. it sucks. It gets better, but it sucks.

There are, at least, 50 alternate realities in the US about these questions and really every judge is their own universe. Your lawyer is your best (still highly imperfect) source of information

From my own experience ... if the mom is a vaguely competent parent, it will be best for her to have primary custody and you visit as able. Kids do best with one home, one table to do homework on, etc. If they are older/independent, less of an issue.