Joke of the day
02-28-2007, 07:54 AM
#1
Gets Weekends Off
Thread Starter
Joined APC: Apr 2006
Position: B767A[ret.]
Posts: 593
Joke of the day
An old southern country preacher from Georgia had a teenage son named
>David and it was getting time the boy should give some thought to choosing a profession.
>
>Like many young men, the boy didn't really know what he wanted to do, and he
>didn't seem too concerned about it.
>
>
>One day, while the boy was away at school, his father decided to try an
>experiment. He went into the boy's room and placed on his study table four objects:
>
>- a Bible,
>
>- a silver dollar,
>
>- a bottle of whisky and
>
>- a Playboy magazine
>
>I'll just hide behind the door," the old preacher said to himself, "and when
>he comes home from school this afternoon, I'll see which object he picks up.
>
>If it's the Bible, he's going to be a preacher like me, and what a
>blessing that would be!
>
>If he picks up the dollar, he's going to be a businessman, and that
>would be OK.
>
>But if picks up the bottle, he's going to be a no-good drunkard, and, Lord,
>what a shame that would be.
>
>And worst of all, if he picks up that magazine he's gonna be a skirt-chasin' bum."
>
>The old man waited anxiously, and soon heard his son's footsteps as he
>entered the house whistling and headed for his room. The boy tossed his books on
>the bed, and as he turned to leave the room he spotted the objects on the table. With curiosity in his eye, he walked over to inspect them.
>
>Finally, he picked up the Bible and placed it under his arm. He picked up
>the silver dollar and dropped it into his pocket. He uncorked the bottle and
>took a big drink while he admired this month's Centerfold.
>
>"Lord have mercy," the old preacher disgustedly whispered, "he's gonna be a
>pilot!"
>David and it was getting time the boy should give some thought to choosing a profession.
>
>Like many young men, the boy didn't really know what he wanted to do, and he
>didn't seem too concerned about it.
>
>
>One day, while the boy was away at school, his father decided to try an
>experiment. He went into the boy's room and placed on his study table four objects:
>
>- a Bible,
>
>- a silver dollar,
>
>- a bottle of whisky and
>
>- a Playboy magazine
>
>I'll just hide behind the door," the old preacher said to himself, "and when
>he comes home from school this afternoon, I'll see which object he picks up.
>
>If it's the Bible, he's going to be a preacher like me, and what a
>blessing that would be!
>
>If he picks up the dollar, he's going to be a businessman, and that
>would be OK.
>
>But if picks up the bottle, he's going to be a no-good drunkard, and, Lord,
>what a shame that would be.
>
>And worst of all, if he picks up that magazine he's gonna be a skirt-chasin' bum."
>
>The old man waited anxiously, and soon heard his son's footsteps as he
>entered the house whistling and headed for his room. The boy tossed his books on
>the bed, and as he turned to leave the room he spotted the objects on the table. With curiosity in his eye, he walked over to inspect them.
>
>Finally, he picked up the Bible and placed it under his arm. He picked up
>the silver dollar and dropped it into his pocket. He uncorked the bottle and
>took a big drink while he admired this month's Centerfold.
>
>"Lord have mercy," the old preacher disgustedly whispered, "he's gonna be a
>pilot!"
02-28-2007, 11:19 AM
#4
Gets Weekends Off
Joined APC: Feb 2006
Position: 767A (Ret)
Posts: 6,248
If you've run out of the "usual" excuses...
When asked to share the most unusual excuses workers gave for missing work, hiring managers revealed some of their favorite alibis:
1. Employee was poisoned by his mother-in-law.
2. A buffalo escaped from the game reserve and kept charging the employee every time she tried to go to her car from her house.
3. Employee was feeling all the symptoms of his expecting wife.
4. Employee called from his cell phone, saying that he was accidentally locked in a restroom stall and that no one was around to let him out.
5. Employee broke his leg snowboarding off his roof while drunk.
6. Employee's wife said he couldn't come into work because he had a lot of chores to do around the house.
7. One of the walls in the employee's home fell off the night before.
8. Employee's mother was in jail.
9. A skunk got into the employee's house and sprayed all of his uniforms.
10. Employee had a bad case of hiccups.
11. Employee blew his nose so hard, his back went out.
12. Employee's horses got loose and were running down the highway.
13. Employee was hit by a bus while walking.
14. Employee's dog swallowed her bus pass.
15. Employee was sad.
1. Employee was poisoned by his mother-in-law.
2. A buffalo escaped from the game reserve and kept charging the employee every time she tried to go to her car from her house.
3. Employee was feeling all the symptoms of his expecting wife.
4. Employee called from his cell phone, saying that he was accidentally locked in a restroom stall and that no one was around to let him out.
5. Employee broke his leg snowboarding off his roof while drunk.
6. Employee's wife said he couldn't come into work because he had a lot of chores to do around the house.
7. One of the walls in the employee's home fell off the night before.
8. Employee's mother was in jail.
9. A skunk got into the employee's house and sprayed all of his uniforms.
10. Employee had a bad case of hiccups.
11. Employee blew his nose so hard, his back went out.
12. Employee's horses got loose and were running down the highway.
13. Employee was hit by a bus while walking.
14. Employee's dog swallowed her bus pass.
15. Employee was sad.
Thread
Thread Starter
Forum
Replies
Last Post
usmc-sgt
Flight Schools and Training
9
03-02-2007 08:21 PM
