Originally Posted by forgot to bid

They make you think that they love to fall asleep in cars so you think a long car ride would be heaven to them. Somehow that's never ever what happens. We used to think if we left at 3 m they'd sleep half the ride, nope, they're wide awake.

I have no puns left, Elvis put them all out there for you.

Originally Posted by Elvis90

> >
> > I don't enjoy computer jokes; not one bit.
> >
> > I changed my iPod's name to Titanic. It's syncing now.
> >
> > When chemists die, they barium.
> >
> > Jokes about German sausage are the wurst.
> >
> > I know a guy who's addicted to brake fluid. He says he can stop any
> > time.
> >
> > How does Moses make his tea? Hebrews it.
> >
> > I stayed up all night to see where the sun went. Then it dawned on
> > me.
> >
> > This girl said she recognized me from the vegetarian club, but I'd
> > never met herbivore.
> >
> > A guy got arrested for playing the guitar. He was fingering a minor.
> >
> > I'm reading a book about anti-gravity. I just can't put it down.
> >
> > I did a theatrical performance about puns. It was a play on words.
> >
> > They told me I had type-A blood, but it was a Type-O.
> >
> > PMS jokes aren't funny; period.
> >
> > Why were the Indians here first? They had reservations.
> >
> > We’re going on a class trip to the Coca-Cola factory. I hope there's
> > no pop quiz.
> >
> > I didn't like my beard at first. Then it grew on me.
> >
> > Did you hear about the cross-eyed teacher who lost her job because she
> > couldn't control her pupils?
> >
> > When you get a bladder infection urine trouble.
> >
> > Broken pencils are pointless.
> >
> > I tried to catch some fog, but I mist.
> >
> > What do you call a dinosaur with an extensive vocabulary? A thesaurus.
> >
> > England has no kidney bank, but it does have a Liverpool.
> >
> > I used to be a banker, but then I lost interest.
> >
> > I dropped out of communism class because of lousy Marx.
> >
> > All the toilets in New York's police stations have been stolen. The
> > police have nothing to go on.
> >
> > I got a job at a bakery because I kneaded dough.
> >
> > Haunted French pancakes give me the crêpes.
> >
> > Velcro — what a rip off!
> >
> > A cartoonist was found dead in his home. Details are sketchy.
> >
> > Venison for dinner again? Oh deer!
> >
> > The earthquake in Washington obviously was the government's fault.
> >
> > Be kind to your dentist. He has fillings, too.

Originally Posted by forgot to bid

They make you think that they love to fall asleep in cars so you think a long car ride would be heaven to them. Somehow that's never ever what happens. We used to think if we left at 3 m they'd sleep half the ride, nope, they're wide awake.

I have no puns left, Elvis put them all out there for you.

Originally Posted by newKnow

After the AE is released and all the talk dies down, I would love it if we could come up with a top/funniest "latest and greatest" post list.

I forget who came up with the horse and buggy and the Amish being more technologically advanced than Delta, but I think that would get my vote for #1.

Originally Posted by Carl Spackler

This might already be old, but a friend of mine there has given Delta a new acronym:

Doing
Everything
Like
The
Amish

Carl

Originally Posted by scambo1

Baby einstein dvds work wonders.

Originally Posted by Timbo

No use, I got a ticket anyway, and the old, "Slow down now, you wouldn't want to get into an accident and hurt your kids..."

I wanted to say, "Wanna BET?"