Originally Posted by forgot to bid

There really needs to be a decision tree made on how best to handle the gate house PA.

Thoughts on how it should go?

Originally Posted by forgot to bid

On the subject of gate house PA's.

Back in 2000 at Continental Express we had a pamphlet written on how to make good PAs and it had some canned PAs we could use. The person who wrote it was a bit... well... see the big picture above. Went so far as to use their name as the example name in the pamphlet which led many pilots to make PAs using his name.

Originally Posted by forgot to bid

Here, we'll give an example:

CAPTAIN GATE HOUSE SPEECH, MD-90 LEFT HYDRAULIC OVERHEAT EXAMPLE:

"Ladies and gentlemen: The next PA in this concourse will be delivered this evening, by Captain Tim Bo, a gentleman whose high character and unimpeachable integrity are only equaled by his comeliness of person and grace of manner.

And I am that man!

[pause for laughter to stop]

I was obliged to excuse the gate agent from introducing me, because he/she never compliments anybody and I knew I could do it just as well.

The MD-90s hydraulic system overheating will be the subject of my lecture--when I get to it. And I shall endeavor to tell the truth as nearly as a pilot can. If I embellish it with a little nonsense, that makes no difference; it won't mar the truth; it is only as the barnacle ornaments the oyster by sticking to it.

Unfortunately, the hydraulic overheat problem is a repulsive one. It was a case of hydraulic leprosy, of so dreadful a nature that I have never been able to get it out of my mind since I heard about it a few minutes ago. I don't intend that it shall give a disagreeable complexion to this lecture at all, but inasmuch as it is what is keeping us delayed.

It is a very hard matter to get a disagreeable object out of one's memory. I discovered that a good while ago. When I made my way down the jetway today I was shown some very interesting things, and I expected to recollect every one of them and pass them along to you-- but I didn't. I forgot every one of them--except one-- and that I remembered because it was unpleasant. It is that one of the two hydraulic systems [tears] overheated on taxi.

I've never been so sick in all my life than I am now to have to tell you that, [dramatic pause, consider putting head down on gate counter] we are going to be delayed today because of it.[consider pounding fist 3 times on counter, do not lift your head]

But I am losing time; what I have been saying don't bear strictly on the [look down at notes] hydraulic overheat, but one reminiscence leads to another, and I am obliged to bring myself down in this way, on account of that unpleasant thing that I first saw there. It is not safe to come to any important matter in an entirely direct way. When a young gentleman is about to talk to a young lady about matrimony he don't go straight at it. He begins by talking about the weather. I have done that many a time.

My next remarks will refer to the hydraulic overheat issue. Now if an impression has gotten to you that this issue will cause us to go cartwheeling down the runway in a ball of flames, that is the error I wish to combat.

But I must run at this point. I'll be back to talk to you more about the hydraulic overheat problem in 15 minutes.

Originally Posted by Timbo

I'm thinking that before we do, we are going to have to talk to the dispatcher and gather the Conflict Resoloution Team, then have a Huddle for Excellence, and of course a "But For" test!

Then, and only then, will we be able to run the Decision Tree...

After the afore mentioned PA, of course!

Originally Posted by forgot to bid

Why don't we ever get to huddle for excellence?

Anyways, the decision tree should incorporate the do's and don'ts... which are really a collection of never's.

1. Never say you're sorry,
2. Never admit to being wrong,
3. Never admit to not knowing something,
4. Never admit you broke it or it's your fault,
5. Never stick around if the flight is cancelled,
6. Never say the words ****, *****, **** or *****,
7. Never look a passenger in the eye if you're lying because they'll assume your coerced into saying it,
8. Never say that their bags won't be there or get right back to them as soon as they get to baggage claim,
9. Never say "folks",
10. Never use boring adjectives,
11. Never stare at the most attractive woman in the gate house longer than is necessary to convey sincere loving empathy,
12. Never return to the gate house immediately following notification the flight is cancelled,
13. Never yawn mid sentence,
14. Never come back up the jetway after the flight is canceled if there was another jetway you could've walked up,
15. Never say uh,
16. Never forget to inform passengers that they can hit their flight attendant call button to help us identify those concerned about a late arrival,
17. Never say can I help you?,
18. Never forget to bid,
19. never forget to take the opportunity and explain if they'd only done it your way,
20. Never forget to say that the flight attendants have your flight information and can provide guidance on what to do next,
21. Never look happy,
22. Never pass gas loudly,
23. Never give up.

Originally Posted by forgot to bid

There really needs to be a decision tree made on how best to handle the gate house PA.

Thoughts on how it should go?

Originally Posted by Purple Drank

is the flight delayed --> yes --> am i contractually obligated to make the PA --> no --> will I make the PA? --> no

end of procedure.

Originally Posted by RockyBoy

Ha! I actually had him for an indoc instructor and he made us practice PA's using his guide for hours! We couldn't say folks because he said that was a term that referred to southern people going to a rodeo. We kept saying folks and it ****ed him off so bad he almost kicked us out of PA practice class. He loved telling us all about his BMW and he wore those stupid colored dress shirts that had a white collar and white cuffs with gold cuff links. Wasn't his nickname on the line Captain Clip Board? Coex in the good old days.