Originally Posted by
cardiomd
No more from me buddy, the crazies can clutch their p**is replacement in the cockpit before it is banned.
Please somebody describe / transcribe the rap video for posterity, it has been taken down!
Close your eyes and let... wait, don't close your eyes, you need to read this.
Imagine if you will a mid-40's man; fit, gingered, high on life, probably born again. Now picture this man in a bedroom with no adornments, just a very expensive microphone, a computer, and a keyboard. Layer this vision with really bad music that said man thinks is awesome. (Imagine the most typical mid-90's alternative but badly produced, repetitive, and a heavy reliance on guitar effects and someone who thinks they sound like Scott Weiland (RIP)).
This scene now set, our ginger hero, smiling psychopathically happy, begins to sing us his melody while the video cuts to scenes of him enthusiastically doing a walk around on a CRJ-900 like he just won the damned lottery. He can't help himself from giving rock n roll devil horns every ten seconds, encouraging his FO to do the same in the flight deck. This progresses to cuts of him back in the "studio" and then to the infamous scene of him happily "heelying" himself through RDU in uniform in full view of the public.
Repeat the above for 5:17.
He should have an interview at JB or SWA tomorrow.
Oh, and this entire sequence begins with his monologue to the passengers from the galley (which was filmed from seat 1C, and likely to an empty plane) in which he says, emphatically, (paraphrased from memory), "Hello ladies and gentleman, sorry for our brief delay, but I'll tell you what, you are in good hands here today, because you have Captain Lee at the controls! What does that mean? Well, I can't do much about the delay, and I can't stop Mother Nature, but I can control one thing, and that's the speeeeed of this aircraft!!! So here's what I propose, I told the ground crew to go ahead and throw 1000 pounds of extra gas on board this airplane because once we get in the air I'm going to go as fast as possible and fly this thing like I stole it! Most importantly I'm going to get you there as safely as possible. Welcome aboard."